Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize
