Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Even my vagina gasped.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Houston, we have a blender
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
