he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
