Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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