I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
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