omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
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