so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
