apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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