I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
