Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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