Betty ford says i'm here all night
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
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