The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
