you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
