i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Ladies don't puke and tell
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
