well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
So much Jack, so little girl.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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