your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
