We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
the day after is always just damage control
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
