just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Let's get the cat blown out
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
