stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
