ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
