I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
