We won't sleep together?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
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Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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