i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
