honey bunches of taint.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
