so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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