just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Randomize
