Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
