i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
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