I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
