Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
