i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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