She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
