I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
