you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
