Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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