Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
