it was like eating out sand paper
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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