I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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