"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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