i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Randomize