I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
