i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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