yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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