she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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