Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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