moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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