i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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