I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
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