mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
