I'm going to jail i love you
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize