i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
