found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Hippo gnu deer
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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