Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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