Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
