I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize